OK L.A., ATL, and NY!
NBA ALL Star weekend is here and I felt it my duty to put out a word of caution to all the Golddiggers, GDIT (Gold Diggers In Training) and the BB’s (Basic B***H)!
Ok. So, I’m hearing a lot of jokes on #Twitter about All Star Weekend, A LOT! Mainly coming from comedians, along the lines of VD’s, Pimping and Ho’ing. The thing about Comedy that makes it so funny is that 95% of the time its true! So, without further adieu, I present to you the 6 Commandments of ALL STAR WEEKEND-L.A.
1. Bb’s, GD, & GDIT- Please, Please, Please, reconsider actually going to any events this weekend. This weekend was designed especially with you in mind. Dudes will be out Blinging and Stuntin. And aint NOBODY looking 4 no serious relationship, so, stay home. You will not be “Wifed Up”, ya might get “Knocked Up” by a NBA Imposter. @RealEarthQuake said it best:
“@RealEarthquake: Somebody gone name they baby Star and Weekendria to remember the memories”.
2. BB’s-Lawd where do I start with yall?! Okay to keep it short and sweet, you will be SPOTTED a Mile away, in the club and in conversation. It will be apparent that your conversation will have some major Holes, along with ya clothes, broken or chipped nail polish and your JACKED UP wig/weaves and Heaven Forbid, your BRAIDS! Please don’t leave the house looking like Sweetie AKA CIELEY from The RHOA. You are an INSTANT TARGET for all ALL-STAR IMPOSTERS AND COMEDIANS!
3. GDIT-Whoever is Training you is about to Lead Your ass down a disastrous path! Of the 3 categories, you are the only ones that are salvageable. You can turn back now! All Star Weekend is guaranteed to leave you scarred! Just cause a dude is TALL and ATHLETIC does not mean his ass play for the NBA. Just cause he is whipping a nice ride, does not mean its HIS, and just because he got a ROLL of money, doesn’t mean that they all ain’t “$1’s” Ok? Got it? Good. Also, you are a prime target for ROTATION. See ya “Trainer is gonna end up like my protagonist in my Trilogy series,”A Golddiggers Karma”. See, she messed around and got caught up with an imposter and was left with a nice little Venereal Disease. This weekend is designed for dudes to get unlimited skins from every and any female giving up the goodies.
4. GD’s–Welcome To L.A.! Hope your flight was comfy cause your weekend is about to be BUMPY! Whooooa Lawd!!! LMFAO! The dudes have been waiting for yall all month!
F.Y.I., You will not get a Balla this weekend that is serious about you AND by chance You do, you will be sadly mistaken that you are the only one! LMAO, I hear so many damn #TrueStories in L.A. That I know imma hear a whole lot more! Some of yall came to town Broke with 3 outfits, makeup and a Dream. I hope that ticket was roundtrip, cause you going back with 2 outfits, your lil makeup, a nightmare and maybe a baby Bump or Two, and The Hoe Gossip Topic in all BarberShops ! Just read my trilogy, A GOLDDIGGER’s Karma and good luck!
5. To all my dudes and playas alike. If you getting skins mad easy, make sure yall asses strap up, with your OWN condoms!!! Some women can be mad triflin’. And if she giving it up THAT easy, please make sure, “SHE” is really not a “HE” either.
OH!!!! What? Yall thought only Females coming to ALL STAR??
ROFLMAO! Trannies coming too! And some of them got the Whole surgery on lock! Yall better INSPECT THE WHOLE package soberly!! If you are faded have one of your boys be an OFFICIAL Designated Woman Verifier! DWV for short! Oooooooh Lawd! I have heard some stories that made Niggaz comitt suicide, cause they didn’t realize that ‘Ole Girl was a Dude! Lol! It aint funny, but it is!
6. To all my real females, yall keep it moving! This is HOE weekend so, if the dude you’ve been interested is suddenly M.I.A., girl, please! Let him have his fun with his homeboys! If you are really someone he’s interested in, you’ll know and he’ll hit you this weekend. I promise! Because, when a Woman has a Man’s attention, Girl!!!…all I have to say is that’s a Great thing! I say if you really want to have a good time, go out and WITNESS the Tragedies that are about to go down! If you spot a BB, GD, or GDIT, PLEASE tweet me @Anjiray!
Aiight yall, have fun be safe and MARK my words, this ‘ISH is about to be JOKE CENTRAL for all my COMEDIANS! Chocolate Sundays at The LAUGH Factory on Sunset bout to be OFF da Chain This Sunday!!!!
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