Bag Lady…


Bag lady you gon’ hurt your back…dragging all them bags like that.

My back is already hurt, add that to this splitting headache that I woke up with and empty stomach and we got ourselves a winner!  Walking out of Ralphs with my last supper, I was pleasantly pissed to see the 20 bus zoom right by me.  Breathe girl, breathe.  Is it worth the wait under this slave sun or should I start walking the 4 blocks to my house with both hands full of weight?  What to do?  What to do?  You know what?  I’ll walk.

Wrong choice.

As I began my hike, the 20 bus heading in the opposite direction stopped in front of me.  From it disembarked a loser that I am embarrassed to have known.

“Hey!” he exclaims excitedly.

“Hey.” I murmured while silently cursing myself for not waiting for the next bus.  As he glanced at the heavy load I was carrying, it DID NOT cross his lentil-sized brain to offer a little help. Go figure, since he’d been trying to “Holla” at me for the longest anyways.  Freakin’ LOSER!

Maybe if I just KEEP walking, he’ll fall back and fade away.

Thank God for little prayers, because that’s EXACTLY what he did.  Thank God.

As I continued my journey, the bags became heavier and heavier.  So, I decided to throw the heaviest one in my purse to balance my load.  Stopping off in front of the Subway to “evenly distribute”, a middle-aged African American woman comes out and exclaims with all the joy she could muster,

“Now THAT’S what I call a heavy load!”

By this time, my annoyance level had just about PEAKED.  As I looked at the small framed woman, I wish I’d had a baby wipe to viciously eliminate her drawn on eyebrows. I uttered the stupidest response, “Thank You” and continued on about my way.  To my amusement, some Caucasian man, balding, but a cutie, winked at me as I had just completed my about-face from “Brows”.  Okay, normally, I would be a little flirty back, but I was just not in the mood.  He too, looked at my grocery load, but he looked liked he wanted to remove them from my hands.  What ifs.  What ifs.

Then with just a block to go, guess who pulled up and asked the dumbest question?  My Caucasian heart-throb.  He asked,

“Are you still lugging those bags around?”

In my head, I cursed him out.  What the hell does it look like? Hell YEAH, I’m still LUGGING these bags around.  What would I have done between blocks 3 & 4 NOT to be lugging the bags around?

“Pardon me?” I replied with just the sweetest smile I could plaster on my face.

“Are you still lugging those bags around?”

Okay, so obviously this guy thinks that that line is going to work.  I mean, I thought maybe at first that he just blurted it out of sheer nervousness but he HAD time to bounce back with another line.  Like, what’s your name?  Etc.

“I only have a few blocks to go, thank you.” I rebutted.

“Oh, ok.” He responded and drove away.

Bag lady you gone hurt your back….

About Anji Ray

Anji Ray: An*jee Rey -noun Panamanian Princesa. A force. A lover. A Fighter. 5-Star. Trained. Classy. Ready. Actor. Groundling In Training.
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