The road to where?

ImageI feel suffocated.  Like I seriously can not breathe right now, yet I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs, “WHEN WILL I GET TO WORK IN MY CRAFT?!!!!!!!!!” My God.  How much patience does one have to have?  I’m so fed up with everything and everyone right now.  I deserve better.  Yes I do.  I’ve promoted people and products that I actually believe in for free, with the belief that if you do good for people that good will come back to you. 

I want to audition.  Now.

Not for a part as a hooker, or a drug addict.  Not for a stereotypical, Aunt Jemima finger snapping, head twisting urban role.  I want to audition for a part that has multiple dimensions.  I want to breathe……life……into…..a….script.  I’m sick of Hollywood and the quasi whatevers.  How about YOU PEOPLE give someone with training and passion a chance to audition for a part that means something?  Politics suck.  You email someone as a follow up and they never respond.  How about YOU PEOPLE keep it real and say thank you but don’t expect an answer because I don’t respond to my emails.  That is way more truthful and respectable than just simply not answering. 

I can not breathe.  Its like I’m having a panic attack 24/7.  I left the country 2 weeks ago just so that I COULD BREATHE. and I did……I was breathing so well.  So relaxed.  You know why?  Because, although I wasn’t in ANY OF THE FILMS that were showing, I was around the film makers, directors, producers and actors that created the body of works that ultimately became part of the film festival. I HAD TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY, just to network with people in my craft.  I nearly cried on the plane back to Los Angeles.  You know why?  Because I had to go BACK to a 9-5.  Back to a life where I’m struggling just to maintain focus of my dream.  To maintain focus. To maintain. 

Where is this road leading to?  I know where.  To an Oscar, an Academy Award.  That is EXACTLY where I’m headed.  I just wanted to document the struggle in the meantime. 

Maybe a producer will come across my blog and say, you know what?  This girl Anji is fearless.  I want HER in the next project that I produce.  I want untapped talent, raw and UN-manipulated talent. 

Talent that is willing to GO the distance.

I feel suffocated and I can’t breathe. I need to spread my wings and fly.


Anji Ray

About Anji Ray

Anji Ray: An*jee Rey -noun Panamanian Princesa. A force. A lover. A Fighter. 5-Star. Trained. Classy. Ready. Actor. Groundling In Training.
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