Part II of A Golddigger’s Karma! Lawd! Lawd! Lawd!


OMG!!!! 

GUYS!  YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE THE FREAKIN’ CALL I GOT THIS MORNING @ 11AM! SO, I’M COMBING MY NAPPY ASS HAIR, AND LAWD ITS NOT AN EASY TASK….I DIGRESS, SO, LET’S GO BACK TO AROUND 10PM LAST NIGHT WHEN MY BUTT WAS KNOCKED OUT, I GET A PHONE CALL FROM A BLOCKED NUMBER @ 10:01PM, @10:02PM & @10:21PM……BUT NO MESSAGE.  

SO THOSE OF YOU WHO KNOW ME OR HELL FOR THAT MATTER, MOST PPL I KNOW DON’T ANSWER PRIVATE OR BLOCKED NUMBERS.  WELL, I DIDN’T.  DAMN, I SHOULDN’T HAVE.

I GET UP THIS MORNING, JUMP IN THE SHOWER, CHECK FOR AUDITION NOTICES, GRAB STARBUCKS, COME BACK HOME AND PROCEED TO PRESS THIS DAMN HEAD OF MINE. 

SO I GET TO LIKE THE FIRST HALF OF MY HEAD AND MY PHONE RINGS…IT READS: “PRIVATE NUMBER”.

 SO, HERE I AM STRUGGLING WITH THESE NAPS AND I’M PISSED BECAUSE I KEEP GETTING THIS DAMN PRIVATE NUMBER AND NOOOOOOO VOICEMAIL!  I ANSWER THE PHONE IN AN ATTITUDE YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE!

 “HELL—–0!!! WHO THE HELL IS THIS?” I ASK. 

“ITS YOUR LIL BROTHER.” THE CALLER SAYS.

“MY LITTLE BROTHER DON’T SOUND LIKE THIS, SO WHO THE HELLLLLLLLL IS THIS CALLING ME FROM A PRIVATE NUMBER?”

ALL KINDS OF GHETTONESS YALL!

YALL, GUESS WHO IT WAS???? OH, SHIT!  DUDE THAT GOT LOCKED UP!  DAMN.  I KNEW I SHOULDN’T HAVE ANSWERED THE PHONE, BUT JUST LIKE BLACK PEOPLE, WE WANNA BE QUICK TO CUSS SOMEONE OUT. SMDH!

SO, THIS FOOL PROCEEDS TO TELL ME THAT HE IS INDEED A CONVICT AND SERVED A 2-YEAR PRISON STINT,  BUT WAS HUSTLING MONEY FROM PEOPLE BECAUSE HE HAD THE GIFT OF GAB.   AND THAT FEMALES REALLY BELIEVED THAT HIS ASS WAS A FINANCIAL ADVISORS TO THE NBA.  WOW!!!!! 

 HE THEN CONFIRMS THAT HE WAS ON THE RUN FROM THE POLICE IN TEXAS AND THAT HE JUST WANTED TO “START FRESH”, SO HE MOVED TO L.A……ON PAROLE.

*****IMMA LET THAT STUPID SHIT SINK IN FOR YALL*****

YOU WANTED TO START FRESH? ON PAROLE?

I’M THINKING THIS  CALLS FOR A BLOG ENTRY. 

SO, THEN HE  SAID THE LORD WAS TALKING TO HIM FOR THE WEEK THAT HE WAS LOCKED UP.  AND THAT HE IS SEEING EVERYONE’S TRUE COLORS AND HOW EVERYONE THAT HE LIED TO OR OWED MONEY TO, “LEFT HIM FOR DEAD”.   AND HOW NOBODY WANTS TO ANSWER HIS CALLS.  HE THEN THANKS ME FOR BEING A FRIEND AND APOLOGIZES FOR LYING TO ME. 

YALL, I’M COOL, YA KNOW? BECAUSE @ THE END OF THE DAY, WHO AM I TO JUDGE? 

BUT………….AND I DO SAY….. BUT………..I WILL ASK YA ONE THANG…….

WAS THE LORD TALKING TO YOUR BLACK ASS WHEN YOU WENT TO PRISON FOR TWO YEARS?

WAS HE TALKING TO YOU WHEN YOU FLED FROM TEXAS ON PAROLE?

WAS HE TALKIN’ TO YOU THEN? 

SO, YOU KNOW, I WISHED HIM ALL THE BEST AND TOLD HIM THAT HE REALLY NEEDS TO SETTLE ALL HIS LEGAL ISSUES AND DO THANGS RIGHT. 

SO, I’M THINKING:

” OKAY, DUDE WAS TRYING TO MAN UP AND APOLOGIZE.  I CAN’T BE MAD AT HIM RIGHT?  RIGHT?  I CAN’T BE MAD….” 

WRONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YALL KNOW WHAT THIS NIGGAH CALLS BACK AND ASKS ME? 

GUESS?

I’LL TELL YA, THE CONVO WENT SOMETHING LIKE THIS:

“ANJI, I GOTTA FAVOR TO ASK YOU.”

“WASSUP?” (I’M REALLY THINKING, DAMN, HELL NAW, WHATEVER YOU BOUT TO ASK THE DAMN ANSWER IS NO!”)

“ANJI, I CAN UNDERSTAND IF YOU SAY NO, BUT I’M AT MY HOMEBOY’S CRIB RIGHT NOW, AND HIS GIRL IS COMING HOME TODAY, BUT I AIN’T GOT NO WHERE TO SLEEP TONIGHT. MAN, I’M BOUT TO HAVE A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN, CAN I CRASH AT YOUR PLACE?”

*****CRICKETS*****

UM, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY?  LIKE, “SURE!  COME OVER, CRASH YOUR FUGITIVE ASS OVER HERE AND RELAX?”

NO!  OMG, YALL, I WAS LIKE, SERIOUSLY?  YOU ALREADY ARE A RUNAWAY CONVICT AND YOU SAID L.A.P.D. JUST LET YOU OUT?  JUST LIKE THAT?  YOU GOT A 33 MILLION WARRANT AND L.A.P.D.?, RODNEY KING LAPD?, JUST UP AND LET YOU OUT? GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!!!

YOU CALLING ME FROM A PRIVATE NUMBER AND MIGHT BE ON THE RUN AGAIN, AND I’M SUPPOSED TO JUST LET YOU COME TO MY SAE, WARM, LIL HOME, AND CRASH? OHHHHH HELLLZZZZZZZZ NOOOOO! 

SO, END OF STORY, DUDE KEPT BLOWING ME UP ALLLLLLL DAY TILL LIKE 5PM! MY THING IS THIS, YOU AINT GOT NO I.D., NO BIRTH CERTIFICATE, NO NOTHING BUT… YOU GOT A WARRANT, YOU WERE LOCKED UP,YOU STOLE MONEY FROM INNOCENT PEOPLE, AND NOW YOU WANNA HOLLA AT ME?  BOO, STOP! 

MY FINAL THOUGHTS:

YOU EVER SEEN THE SOLOIST?  WELL SKID ROW IS ALWAYS OPEN!

I’M OUT!

XOXOXO

ANJI RAY

PLEASE YALL COMMENT ON THIS…..I GOT TO HEAR THE FEEDBACK!

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About Anji Ray

Anji Ray: An*jee Rey -noun Panamanian Princesa. A force. A lover. A Fighter. 5-Star. Trained. Classy. Ready. Actor. Groundling In Training. Facebook.com/anjirayproductions
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One Response to Part II of A Golddigger’s Karma! Lawd! Lawd! Lawd!

  1. Anji Ray says:

    Reblogged this on Anji Ray–Thoughts Of A Panamanian Actress and commented:

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